Sometimes it is hard to believe that I am a mother of four. When did that happen?! But it most definitely did happen. Now I wonder what have I learnt about myself and the challenges of being a mum. I think the hardest part has been sharing myself with all four. When my boy was born I could snuggle, hold and be with him all day long if I wanted to. With four little ones the stretch is my biggest challenge. I want them to all feel the same amount of love and have the same sense of security. I am not alone on this. I think every mother or father feels the same. They want to do the best for their children. They want their child to feel loved and hold them tight, make them feel safe and grow into confident adults.
But getting there!!!! Well that’s the challenge.
So 1 year later and here I am. Most certainly not an expert in rearing children but there are some things I have learnt –
- It’s just a phase! Even the toughest times can be got through. I thought I would never sleep again and here we are – I had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. Now that is something to celebrate. Certainly doesn’t happen all the time – but today I will take it and embrace this energy.
- They grow up too fast! Blink and you will miss it. Stella took her first step on Tuesday (3 Oct 2016). Soon she will be walking and soon she will be running out the door.
- Mess is not the end of the world! Now this is something I am still working on. As someone who is very particular about keeping things neat and tidy, having an explosion of plastic in the house has been a challenge.
- Dinnertime is chaotic! A sub lesson of point 3. This is an age thing but little ones like to explore their food. I have to let go and let them. Although, I still struggle with the idea of raspberries or tomatoes as finger food. And toddlers spill lots of things!
- Stop every once in a while and just play! Play is such an important part of growing up but once we get to a certain age we forget how to. Embracing play has been liberating and I think is why I’m enjoying this time so much. Not always easy when in a house of chaos, nappies to change, dinners to be made, sick or crying children but one I try to remind myself to do.
- The hugs and snuggles are amazing! This part is just fantastic. I absolutely love all the hugs and kisses I get and give. Unconditional love given by your child is something to embrace.
- Plan everything! So this is a good tip for all mums to be. Try and pre-empt as much as you can. Most children can do 15 – 30 minutes at each activity. So if I am going anywhere I think in 15 – 30 minute slots. This allows me to do anything within reason – including dinner out with all the kids. By bringing books, toys and ensuring food arrives quickly, dinner out can be a really enjoyable experience (big bonus for me is no clean up! see point 4).
- The ‘Good Enough Mother’! This is the biggest lesson after 1 year. No matter what I do, perfectionism still niggles away at me. However, slowly I am learning that I am not perfect but I am happy and that is enough.